


we burn it down (and it takes all night)

by darklips_paleface



Category: Gotham (TV)
Genre: 1x06, Anal Sex, Ed is the worlds biggest bottom, First Time, Implied onesided Gobblepot, M/M, Sex at the GCPD, Top!Oswald, because why not, literally the second they meet they fuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 06:28:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18750886
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/darklips_paleface/pseuds/darklips_paleface
Summary: In the span of a breath, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot had plunged the entirety of the GCPD into utter chaos, and Ed found it impossible to take his eyes off of him.





	we burn it down (and it takes all night)

**Author's Note:**

> title is from a kacey musgraves song because OBVIOUSLY. follow me on twitter (@gaydiscovampire) for more yeehaw gay activity.
> 
>  
> 
> Sal’s fic™️

     “I am Oswald Cobblepot.”

     In the span of a breath, with just one sentence, Oswald Chesterfield Cobblepot had plunged the entirety of the GCPD into utter chaos. All he had done was enter the bullpen and it had resulted in a fist fight between Bullock and Gordon, Captain Essen screaming at Detective Montoya, and several betrayed officers turning to voice their displeasure at Jim. In fact, in the midst of all the mayhem, it seemed the one person everyone had stopped paying attention to was the man in question himself. Which was good, seeing as Ed was finding it impossible to take his eyes off of him.

     Working in the GCPD, it was inevitable that Edward would eventually learn the names and faces of the more recurring criminals. Thus, Oswald was someone he was already vaguely familiar with. Though it was immediately clear that hearing of someone’s crimes, seeing their grainy mug shot; it all vastly paled in comparison to bearing witness, in person, to the power of Oswald’s presence. He stood there, a short but proud man, soaking up the glory of a city on fire due to his mere return. Ed couldn’t help the instantaneous pull he felt towards the man.

     There were two men who had arrived with Oswald, presumably for protection, who were now gone. Maybe to fend off cops, maybe to start a fight of their own, who knew. Ed certainly didn't care- was glad for their absence. It gave him an opportunity to approach the man, the divinity.

     “Mr. Penguin-er, Cobblepot- Hi! I-" Oswald gave Ed a cursory once over before interjecting;

     “Hm. Well I suppose you’ll just have to do.” And then he was walking away, past Ed and towards the back offices as if he owned the place.

     “Excuse me, sir?” Ed was confused, he’d only just begun to speak to him, wanting to know just how that incredible mind worked, and already Oswald appeared to be done with him.

     Oswald stopped without turning around, “Are you coming or not?” he snapped over his shoulder at Ed.

     Ed was at a loss. Within less than a minute of meeting him Oswald already had Edward flummoxed. But he did love nothing more than a mystery, so when Oswald set off again, Ed followed helplessly behind him. He noticed that Oswald was leading him down a hallway that ended at the filing room, and was unsure if Oswald was feigning confidence in his knowledge of the GCPD or if he’d just spent enough time here for decidedly criminal reasons to know a general layout of the building. Either way, Ed was fascinated.

     “I really had hoped that I would be able to spend a moment alone with Jim,” Oswald began, obviously talking more to himself than Ed, “but in a pinch I guess you’ll do.” He looked over his shoulder once more and nodded to himself, “I’ve certainly done worse. At least this way it won’t be a _total_ waste of the day.”

     Ed still had no clue what he was talking about, but couldn’t help the little surge of joy he felt hearing that. Clearly Oswald was talking about him, and it was so seldom that Edward was told he was _not_ a waste of time, waste of space, waste of breath that he couldn’t help but grin madly at the sentiment. Whatever Oswald needed him for, Ed would happily comply if it meant continued praise like that.  _Not a total waste!_

     Ed was hesitant to interrupt Oswald’s mumbling to himself, but when they arrived at the door to the records room, which also happened to be the location of Kristen Kringle’s office, he _had_ to interject. Oswald had already begun picking the locked door, and didn’t appear to be listening hard enough to Ed to actually be deterred. “Sir, I’m sorry, but what, exactly, are we doing back here? I’m not sure this office is exactly open to visitors. No, I _know_ it isn’t, and I believe you’re still kind of a wanted criminal so-“

     “Aha!” He exclaimed, successfully unlocking the door. He turned to take real notice of Ed, seemingly for the first time since Ed approached him. “What was your name again?”

     “Edward. Ny-"

     “No, scratch that, doesn’t really matter anyways.” He entered the filing room with gusto, searching blindly for the lights for a few moments before eventually hitting the switch. He turned back to face Edward expectantly when Ed didn’t immediately follow him, and sighed exasperatedly upon realizing he would have to lay it all out for Ed. “Look, it’s been a long day, and I’ve been under a great amount of stress recently. I _planned_ on relieving some of that stress with the help of my dear friend Jim, but he’s rather preoccupied at the moment and I really don’t have all day. I also have eyes, and can see the way you looked at me the moment I walked in here. So, two birds, one stone. I give you what you want, and get what I was after at the same time.” Ed was gawking at him now, starting to understand Oswald’s meaning, except no, he couldn’t possibly- “Well? Are you going to come in here so I can fuck you properly or not?”

     Logically, Ed knew that was his intention. Somewhere in his brain he’d already deduced as much from how Penguin kept bemoaning that Ed wasn’t Jim. And yet, he still gasped, jaw dropping to the floor, at Oswald’s bluntness. He already looked impatient, so Edward knew it was only a matter of moments before Oswald rescinded his offer and went off to find some morally compromised cop to have his way with in another back room.

     And that should be a good thing, Ed should be horrified at the mere _thought_ of doing that, with Cobblepot of all people, in his place of work no less! He should be declining, and going to report Oswald to captain Essen for… well, coming onto someone wasn’t exactly a crime, but Ed was sure there was _some_ thing about this that could get Oswald locked up! Ed was in love with Kristen, he should be disgusted at even the insinuation of being with anyone else. _And yet…_

     He _really_   wanted Oswald. He didn’t know when, or how, or _why,_ but he was attracted to the man. He was dangerous, and powerful, and Ed wanted to be privy to that. See what it felt like to be the focus of his undivided attention, to be _wanted_ by him, even if he was second choice. And he wanted desperately to prove to Oswald that he could be worthy, that he could be even _better_ than that moron James Gordon. Couldn't even stomach the thought of Oswald choosing anyone else, doing  _that_ with anyone who wasn't him. It should have mattered more than it did that it was Miss Kringle's office, but Ed tried not to think about that as he entered the room fully and closed the door behind himself.

     “Great. Now bend over that cabinet and pull down your pants.” Ed was startled by how fast Oswald was moving, but then again, he figured he should have expected as much.

     “W-Wait, can’t we, um, first can we-“

     “What? Braid each other's hair and share our deepest darkest secrets? This isn’t about _romance,_ Evan-“

     “Edward-“

     “ _Whatever._ This is going to be quick and dirty and _fun.”_ Oswald promised, a smile on his face like pure sin. “Now, are we doing this or not?”

     Ed gulped, but nodded. He’d only hoped he could maybe receive his first kiss before having sex for the first time, but beggars and choosers and all that.

     Ed followed Oswald’s earlier instruction wordlessly, feeling a little _too_ vulnerable with his back to Oswald, hunched over a filing cabinet, backside exposed. “I’m sorry- I don’t want to- it’s just- can we maybe, um, can I-“

     “Out with it already, Eric.” He snipped, impatient.

     “It’s- well, it’s Ed, but- I just want to be able to see you, is all.” Ed braced himself for the inevitable laughter at his childishness, the harsh judgement and mocking cruelty that was sure to follow his sappy request. But it never came.

     “Oh. Well- I suppose, if you really _want-"_

"Yes! Yes,” Ed said, trying to tone down his eagerness, “I do want. That. Please?” Couldn’t hurt to be polite.

     “Alright, turn over then.” Oswald said, chuckling a bit at Ed's refusal to turn without permission. The sound was so much warmer and _kinder_ than anything Oswald had offered him up until this point, and it had Ed grinning dopily as he faced Oswald again.

     “You should probably-" he began pushing Ed back, and when his hands lowered to behind Edward's thighs Ed got the picture. He lifted himself up to be seated on the cabinet, leaning back a little as Oswald slotted himself between Ed’s spread legs. Oswald pulled Edwards pants the rest of the ways down, so they were resting around his ankles, and fished a small bottle out of his pocket.

     And that small action- the realization that Oswald had come to the GCPD today with one goal in mind- thrilled Ed. He didn't allow his mind to stray to the thought that this hadn't been Oswald's original plan, that he didn't come here  _for Ed,_ instead he let himself live in the fantasy that he  _had._ That he had come all the way to the GCPD, risked possible death in the crossfires of his return to Gotham, just to have his way with some meaningless forensic scientist. It was a powerful idea, and already his body was reacting. Oswald seemed to take notice of this, if the smirk on his face was anything to go by.

     “God, you must _never_ get laid. Or are you getting all hot and bothered by the _location?_ I bet you’ve never been fucked at work before, goody two shoes like yourself. But you’ve _thought_ about it, haven’t you?” Edward felt a moan escape his mouth involuntarily. He didn’t want to correct Oswald- tell him that he was actually just a virgin who’d get worked up over just about _anything_ Oswald might do or say right now. Didn’t want the other man to think less of him, didn’t want to risk him thinking better of doing this with someone who lacked any experience at all. Didn't want to risk Oswald leaving him here, alone. So he kept quite, nestling his head in the crook of Oswald’s neck to save any further embarrassment.

     Oswald seemed unphased, attention already on uncapping the bottle in his hands and warming a bit of the lube between his fingers before slipping his hand down between them. Ed tensed, a timid little whimper falling from his lips, nervous for the inevitable discomfort of the initial penetration. Oswald simply shushed him as he proceeded to gently circle the tip of his finger around Edward’s entrance. Ed couldn’t help but relax at the undeniably pleasurable sensation, and after another moment, Oswald was gently slipping his finger inside of Ed.

     It was a foreign feeling, undoubtedly, but it wasn’t entirely unpleasant. Edward tried to focus on breathing, shallow little huffs of breath hidden in the skin of Oswald’s neck. “Jesus, you’re tight. You _really_ never get laid, then, huh?” Again, Ed decided a lack of answer was his safest bet. It wasn’t long before the unfamiliar feeling became decidedly pleasant, and Ed found himself unabashedly grinding his hips down for _more._ Oswald complied by slipping a second finger in along with the first. The added intrusion was a little unpleasant, but soon Oswald was scissoring his fingers in a way that made Ed want to _cry._ It was all so much _better_ than he’d ever anticipated it could be. Until Oswald attempted to add a third finger.

     That, Ed realized suddenly, was a _not_ something he was quite ready for. “ _Ah,_ th-That-“

     “Shhhh, don’t worry, I’m going to make you feel _good.”_ Ed wanted to protest, but he also _really_ didn't want Oswald to stop. So he tried to relax, tried to get back that pleasant neediness be had been feeling before. Then Oswald crooked his fingers just _so_ and Edward was seeing stars.

     “Oh, _oh!_ That- that’s, oh _my_ , Mr.- Mr. Penguin, that feels so _good.”_ Ed couldn’t stop himself from chasing the feeling, moving any way he could to try to encourage the other man to do whatever he’d just done again.

     Oswald huffed a breath, an almost-laugh, “That’s nothing. I can give you something that will feel _much_ better _.”_ And then he was pulling his fingers out, pulling away from Ed. Ed couldn’t help but whimper at the loss, and immediately he began to panic. _He knows. He knows I’m a stupid, naive virgin. He wants nothing to do with me, I’m so bad and inexperienced and pathetic and-_

     And Oswald was back, shuffling between Edward's thighs like he’d never left in the first place. Once he was in place, he put a firm hand on Ed’s chest and pushed him down so he was lying more fully on the cabinet. Ed couldn’t get all the way down, though; only managing to mostly lean into the wall behind the cabinet. Oswald didn’t seem to mind that, he had still achieved his goal of spreading Edward out beneath him. He had one hand on Ed’s hip, the other he used to line himself up with Ed’s entrance.

     Ed took one deep breathe, feeling himself on the edge of a precipice from which there was no return. He was falling, but he didn’t want to do it alone. He flailed his arms a bit, grabbing blindly for Oswald’s shoulders to ground himself. And then Oswald was sliding in, filling him completely in one, long stroke.

     It was all so much, the feeling of being so full and so clearly wanted, Ed couldn’t help the tears that spilled from his eyes. He hid his face in the other man's chest, trying to discretely wipe any tears away before Oswald could see. Oswald didn’t seem to notice, he was moaning low and deep, and starting to move in shallow little thrusts.

     “ _Yes_ , oh, please-" Ed surprised himself, he'd never heard his own voice sound so  _desperate_ before. 

     Oswald stopped thrusting using the hand not still on Edward's hip to tilt his chin up and force Ed to look him in the eye. Edward immediately flushed with embarrassment, hoping Oswald wouldn’t notice the tears still clumping his lashes.

     “Please, what?”

     “P-please, _sir,_ I need-“ Ed could barely get through a sentence, his breathing was ragged and his thoughts were racing.

     “You need _what,_ Edward?” And _that_ made Ed more excited than it should have. The man was literally inside of him, and yet Ed was feeling giddy that Oswald could simply remember his name- honestly, he embarrassed himself sometimes.

     “I need _more,_  sir. _”_ Oswald sucked in a breath, clearly affected by the use of proper titles.  In the span of a breath, he was giving Ed exactly what he’d asked for. He set a ruthless pace, pounding into Edward so hard the cabinet beneath them began to shake with the effort. _Oh dear_ , Ed couldn’t help but think, _this is going to be such a mess for poor Miss Kringle to refile._

     He wasn’t really able to dwell on that thought for long, though, as suddenly every nerve in his body- all the cells and atoms that made him up- focused on the overwhelming presence of _Oswald._ He was everywhere, all Ed could see or smell or feel or think.

     “ _Fuck,_ is- _god-_ is that better?” Oswald asked (half-purred, really) into the shell of Edward’s ear. Ed could feel the smirk accompanying the words, and it sent a shiver down his spine. There was something so arousing to Ed about the smugness with which Oswald overpowered him.

     “ _Yes_ , yes!”

     “Yes _what?”_ Oswald demanded, snapping his hips harshly.

     “Yes _sir!”_ Ed all but screamed, and without warning he was coming in messy spurts across Oswald’s and his own shirt.

     “ _Fuck.”_ He stilled momentarily, allowing Ed to breathe through the aftershocks as Oswald panted, still inside of him. “You’re going to have to pay for my dry cleaning after this, you know that, right?” Ed couldn’t really tell if Oswald was joking, and he didn’t really care. He would gladly pay any lump sum, it was worth it.

     Slowly, Oswald began moving again. Ed was tired, but wanted more than anything to witness Oswald experience the same pleasure he just had. It was rough and demanding, but it didn’t take much longer for Oswald’s hips to stutter. He began to pull out, and Ed panicked.

     “No- please, I- I want you to come inside me.” Oswald looked at Ed like he couldn’t quite believe he was real, and then he was coming, still buried deep within Ed.

     He rested his head on Ed’s shoulders, slumping more fully into him as he recovered. Ed luxuriated in the closeness, the intimacy of the action- But it was short lived. Oswald took much quicker than Ed did to recuperate, and all too soon he was pulling himself up and away from Ed. It stung when he pulled out, Ed tried to hide the involuntary wince but he knew Oswald had probably seen it. Miraculously, though, he chose not to comment. He simply pulled out a handkerchief, a tiny black umbrella embroidered into the corner that Ed was ridiculously charmed by, to attempt to clean himself off (especially his shirt- _oops_ ). Oswald sighed, accepting that the state of his appearance was as good as he would be able to manage for now, and tucked himself neatly back into his trousers.

     Ed struggled a bit to get up from where he’d fallen against the wall, but managed, pulling his pants up from around his ankles as he did so. Standing was a trial, he was sore in ways he’d never before imagined he ever would be, but he was able to hide the slight discomfort fairly well.

     “Well. That- uh- that was… thank you.” Ed said, meekly, unsure what was acceptable in terms of pillow talk for situations like these.

     Oswald laughed, and again Edward felt drawn to the sound, “It was my pleasure.” He turned to leave, but stopped just short of  the door, turning back to Ed. “I would say we will probably never see each other again, but,” and Oswald looked like he was surprising even himself with his own words, “I have a feeling that fate may prove to have other plans for us.”

     Ed couldn’t help the swell of hope that sentiment inspired, smiling back at Oswald as the other man departed. It was far from a declaration of love, or even _interest,_ but it was _something._ Ed could work with that.

**Author's Note:**

> so i initially i just wrote this to practice writing smut (because i have an au im working on and VERY excited abt that will have,,, kinda a lot of smut. a good plot too!!! but yeah. smut.) buuuuuttttt,,,,, an idea to make this an actual long story with, GASP, a plot kinda struck me,,,, idk it may never happen but if youd wanna read that pls bug me about it on twitter or something ANYWAYS thank god for days off thats literally the only reason i was able to post this lmao.


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